Last week was the most amazing and beautiful time I have yet to experience. I felt like I was on top of the world without anything holding me down. I cannot emphasize enough how blissful it was to take a break from reality to get pampered in paradise. I was able to cleanse my mind and soul to enjoy life even more. I realized that this year was quite a revolution for me. I was able to reflect back on my adolescence years and compare to what I have become today. In high school, I was trying to create myself and figure out what life is all about. So far in college, I am trying to create life (not a child!) and figure myself out. From both experiences, I have completed nothing, but how could I possibly when I'm barely starting life? I am aware of how much I have changed within a matter of months. In January, I was in hopelessly love. In March, I questioned what was love. In April, I fell out of love. In May, I learned to love my family and friends more. In June, I learned to love myself. Now, I am loving life.
I am the type of person who keeps their guard up when it comes to exposing my emotions. I even put a wall up when it comes to family, because I feel like I have to put up a strong front for them to see that I am able to handle reality. I am only able to reveal the raw side of me to those who are my closest and most genuine friends. They are my saviors and gatekeepers - without them, I honestly believe I would be in a mental ward or anger management program. Unfortunately, I find it very hard to bring myself to open up to those who want to be there for me. I push the good ones away, but I realized that maybe there's a reason for it. Maybe they are good people for others - not me. For now, I just want to give a fair warning to those willing potential volunteers to not expect too much from me. I can either blow your mind, or be a huge disappointment.
Pictures of paradise will be uploaded soon!
Happy birthday, America!
XOXO
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