Baby I got my eyes on you for a while now

Christian Siriano for Payless - $35

After a long day of classes, I decided to return to my beloved Target to see if they restocked my Dolce Vita oxford shoes, but unfortunately they didn't. Instead, I stumbled upon a neighboring Payless that I just casually decided to browse wondering what ugly shoes they came up with these days. Sad, but true, except for this time. I saw my ideal dream black and gold flats. The beautiful crest was a definite buy and the gold heel was a plus. Who knew Christian Siriano from Project Runway's 4th Season would be designing for Payless? Yes, these were only 35$ but they were on sale for 28$! I researched the line and it turns out that the collection has been out since 2009. Why was I not informed about this?! I hit another jackpot.

Even though I am a thrifty person when it comes to shopping, I sometimes forget that I have become close minded to some generic places carrying anything to my picky expectations. From Walmart's Hard Candy cosmetics collection to Payless' Christian Siriano collection brings me much happiness with still some bills to spare! I vow not to overlook those everyday stores anymore! I love designers for less. I cringe at the ridiculous price tags for some things that seem like 35 minutes was put into work, but I shouldn't say anymore because I am guilty for splurging from time to time.

I have a huge urge to shop, but I cannot seem to bring myself to buy. Things were more appealing to me when I could not have it, now that the possibilities are endless, I don't want much of it. This idea also applies to my food cravings and life in general. I'm a bizarre one, but I am happy with what and who I have. Counting my blessings and they are infinite.

XOXO

All or nothing

It's final.

I'm going to save up until spring break and splurge on a trip to San Francisco or New York for a week as my birthday present to myself. If that fails, it's no more Nochella for me but Coachella! I win both ways! Happy early birthday to me.

Join me? Start saving up 2Gs my babies.

XOXO

Right on Target

Dolce Vita for Target - $30

Home is where Target is. Every time I wander around in there, I become an impulsive shopper. It's ridiculous. I buy things that I don't even need, but can't help myself because it's so damn cute. Who knew that one of my favorite brands of shoes happens to be at Target now?! I hit the jackpot. I am absolutely thrilled, most definitely made up for my crappy weekend. I also bought some other things that I believe were a steal - lace skirt, lace bra, lace cardigan (shut up I know I'm obsessive when it comes to lace), and some Victorian wall art. This is just the beginning of my therapeutic shopping spree this month...

Current wants:
- Muse, Passion Pit, Vampire Weekend CDs (ALWAYS SOLD OUT WHEREVER I GO)
- Black and Brown Leather riding boots (SINCE FOREVER, BUY THEM ALREADY DALENA)
- Hard Candy Eyeliner (I'm almost giving up on that now)
- Brown Oxfords (I need to stop being so damn picky)
- H&M Fall/Winter Line
- Zara Silk Bow Blouse
- Zara Store (Everything in there, all of it)
- Henri Bendel Bag
- Topshop Shopping Spree
- Achieving my desired hair color (even considering to go for the highlighting methood, who knows!)
- My babyboy <3

I'm going to spoil myself silly. Don't judge. Don't hate hard working people.
Work hard, spend hard.

XOXO

Picture perfect

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

A relationship is worthless without action.
Actions speak louder than words.

My feelings were hurt; my natural reactions would be devastation and bitterness. It's not pride; it's the results of a cause and effect. I'm not going to look at this in the long-run or the end product anymore, but instead a day by day, moment by moment process. I can't simply be so willingly to accept a couple of sweet words or delicate kisses just yet, but realize I accepted to take on this challenge. Baby steps.

Summer turned to fall. Let's see if winter will turn to springtime for the better.

XOXO

They always say the hottest love has the coldest ends

Feeling at my lowest of the low made me force myself to make myself enjoy life again. It wasn't a great start due to a misunderstanding but it didn't even matter to me because my mind was still somewhere else. As the day progressed, things started to get a little lighter. I didn't want to let myself be miserable anymore, so thanks to the people yesterday who kept me company; I am giving myself some leverage. Although my appetite for the past few days has shrunk into almost just nothing, I was going to get some food in my system and give myself some damn air and sunshine (ironic that yesterday was a bit gloomy but my kind of weather!). Ate in Irvine, went back home, went to Costa Mesa, watched a movie in Anaheim, then hoping for an adventure we were driving aimlessly down Brookhurst and ended up on the 5 North having LA as our set destination, but it led us to a lot of wrong turns.. Ended up going to Santa Monica, then u-turning to go to Sacramento, but we just figured that we should head back home because being in the ghetto late at night was pretty scary. On the way back, we just decided to make a detour into the streets of Norwalk and that led us to having an impulse of going to Walmart to get some hair-dye. Went back to dye my hair, but I was rushed to leave for Fullerton. For the rest of the night, I was the girl who smelt like hair-dye with my hair in a frenzy. It was something to talk about, and people didn't seem to be bothered by it at all. In fact, my hair was constantly smelled at.. By people's own will. Spent the remaining of my night just talking and laughing at people's club or bar incidents. Learned a lot, like how the guys that girls don't mind dancing with actually have strategies or plans to be successful of dancing with girls. Talk about effort! Finally decided to go home and actually get some good sleep. Thinking that I would finally be able to sleep, I was wrong - 2 hours max. Past few days it's been a total of 4 or 5 hours. It amazes me though, I'm usually the one that strives for sleep; if I don't get at least 6 or 7 hours of sleep, I'm a zombie, but as of right now that seems impossible for me. But overall, reconnecting with people is always a pleasure. I forgot about them lately, but I feel thankful for all of those who made me smile again. I enjoyed myself. Thank you and stay gold babies!

"Can't wait for springtime,
And I will turn into a butterfly,
I will spread my wings and fly."

- Our summer turned into fall. But what about winter?

XOXO

This suspense is killing me

Am I being fucking ridiculous right now? Yes.
Can't help myself.
Am I going to laugh at myself later on for being so fucking ridiculous? Yes.
Already am.

Life is full of surprises, isn't it? Ha.
I just gotta get a hold of myself.
Trying my best.

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me

... is a lie. Not physically, but emotionally it does.

True feelings remain the same, the idea of togetherness is still there,
but the action is lost. I am fucking miserable.

Don't you let me go, let me go tonight

I feel like I've relapsed from life. My life consists of school, work, sleep, repeat - which I know I mentioned and emphasized many times before, but once more won't hurt. I go on in life and make the most of it but the question still remains unanswered. "Is this it?" You are born, go to school, experience a few phases, continue with school by choice or get a job, have a family or two (hence the divorce rate) maybe even no family, and die. As harsh it is to admit, no matter how much we do with our lives, we begin and end at the same places. Sometimes I convince myself that I will make it out alright in the future, but there are so many factors that could go wrong that makes me lose hope. Behind every smile or laugh, there's always a massive amount of thoughts running threw my head. Sometimes it's a lot to handle. My head zones out from time to time drifting off to endless thoughts. I understand that I am not the only person in this whole world that feels like this, but I guess I'm just being a big baby. I'm tired. I feel drained. I think I wear myself out too much and my mind has its breakdowns. I just need a break or get away to pick myself up again. This sounds like a shopping spree. Hah. I'm still going to stay gold, baby. My head just needed a moment of ventilation, which a bit of Billie Holiday will also do me good.

XOXO

Kiss the sky

I've been fairly well-behaved when it comes to my spending lately. I am determined to get legitimate Christmas presents this year; a little something to remember with sincerity, appreciation, and gratitude. That is why I am starting early; I already got two out of the four big ones. I was notorious for buying gifts last minute and slapping "with love" or "came from the heart" on it. It did come from the heart, but there was no soul, and I feel horrible about it for all these years. I am going to redeem myself.

But I was just thinking, since I have been such a good girl lately, would it hurt if I let myself do a little shopping spree as a reward? I've been deprived and I am longing for new articles of clothing and accessories to quench my thirst for the fall/winter season.. I promise I'll remain loyal again, after this last break. Pinky promise.

XOXO

I thought I was a fool for no one, oh baby I'm a fool for you

Guess who was the lucky duck who went to see the Muse concert at Staples Center with an opening of Passion Pit on ground floor? Yours truly, moi. Thank you Denise for making my day that night! The stage set up was just marvelous, dumbfounding, and simply amazing. The crowd was simply amazing. The atmosphere was simply amazing. They were simply amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing! Because of that memorable concert, I've been blasting Muse in the car every chance I get, and refusing to listen to the radio if Muse is not playing. Everyone seems to be annoyed by it, but I could careless; I'm addicted.

XOXO